Five weeks and two days till Christmas. You might not even celebrate Christmas, but there is a version of holiday that you have. Right? Now, my question to you is - how do you feel about upcoming holiday season?

Are you looking forward to it or are you feeling dread? Perhaps a blend of a whole bunch of feelings?

And the most important question is - how do you WANT to feel?

Please spend a moment contemplating this, how do you want to feel? Because once you know exactly what you want, you can create it! Because you have the power to create the feelings you want to feel!

It really is not that hard and there are many ways of doing that.

What I have done was to write down all the things that I liked about the holiday, all the things I didn't enjoy. I also decided what I wanted to feel this particular holiday season of 2025. Here's a brief summary of my reflections to serve as an example.

What I want is to rest, relax, recharge, rejuvenate. What I don't want is to work really hard and/ or be stuck in the kitchen all Christmas Day. I also don't want to overspend and run around the malls trying to find perfect gifts (and then inevitably see disappointment on their faces when they don't like the gifts). What I enjoy about the holidays is laughter and connection with my family, also some quiet time.

Now that I see a clear picture, I make some decisions:

• I am NOT going to cook on Christmas Day at all. Instead my family agreed to have a big Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve and the next couple of days we will eat leftovers. I love leftovers, how about you?
• I am not going to go and try the perfect presents. Instead I ask for clear ideas of what they want. My daughter wants to get things from Greenhawk, her favourite tack shop and my husband wants long distance running shoes. I told them very clearly what I want. It looks like there's some shoe shopping happening, but my husband will have to go to the store and choose and try on his new shoes. That's it, I will be having no drama over presents.
• As for Christmas Day itself, we will just chill. I didn't convince them to go to the movies (darn!). Depending on the weather, we might do a picnic on the beach. But if we stay home, we will just play games, watch movies and solve puzzles. That sounds pretty chill and relaxing to me.

And just like that. I know it is against traditions and whatever. But I am making traditions that work FOR ME. And you are allowed to do that too.

If you have a big family and have to navigate lots of family dynamics, not all is lost. It is even MORE important to decide on exactly what you want and create it. You are still in charge of your own holidays. You might have to set some boundaries and whatever, but for all the things wholly, don't put reponsibility for meeting your needs on anyone else. You are the one you are looking for.

And if you need help, I am here for you.

Your life - your rules.

Love,

Nataliya

P.S.

• Give yourself a gift of drama free holiday! Get you Holiday Boundary Upgrade session here. If you need more than one session to detangle the expectations and obligations, get the bundle .
• Get my chair yoga course here. A great gift of wellness to your grandparents or a friend who has mobility issues.
• If you feel like sending me a gift​, use this link.