A couple of days ago I wrote about my experience of being called selfish. I think I hit publish button too fast, but that mishap offered a benefit of feedback.

Some people agreed with me and others said that I was cold, self-centred and individualistic. And that is good because it shows me where I am not being clear, it also shows me where I still need to do some inner work and it also teaches me to think a little bit more and express myself more clearly.

So, first I will say that when I was judged as cold and self-centred I got triggered, I could feel the sting. I needed to take a few deep breath, take myself for a walk and reflect if it was true for me or not.

And, upon reflection, yes, in a way I can be perceived as cold. I was called “cold” by people in my life (not only on the internet) when I set boundaries and stopped being a door mat. I was also accused of being cold when I voiced the truth as it was and how I saw it, without sugar coating it. I tend to speak directly about things and sometimes I pay for it by being labeled as cold or insensitive.

And it is not that the person on the other end was wrong. From their perspective I WAS cold and stubborn and uncooperative and defiant and whatever else I was be judged as. It is THEIR TRUTH. And it is not a problem at all.

The problem starts when I ignore my own truth and start believing their truth instead. This is when I am betraying myself. And that is NOT OK.

So, yes. Sometimes I may appear to be cold, that is the price I have to pay. I have no power over other people. I can try to express myself more clearly, sure, but there’s no guarantee that they will hear and understand and suddenly take my perspective. I think it might be unreasonable to expect others take my perspective. I can hope that we can be open to see each others perspective, but I can’t expect that.

Having said all of that, I also understand and highly promote the concept of interdependence. Of course we need each other, we are not designed to live in a vacuum. Of course we need to help each other and respect each other and be kind to each other.

I believe that the next step in our evolution as a Human Organism is to learn sovereignty within interdependence. This is where it gets super exciting.

Let me expand on this a bit more.

I believe in the intelligence of the Grand Design of the Universe. I believe that we, humans, come to this world as an important piece of the puzzle with a particular set of energies, talents, inclinations, etc. We are all unique and therefore our contribution to the world is unique too.

And that’s where it gets tricky. Because we are so unique, we need to find our own path in order to do whatever it is our Soul came here to do. We can not accomplish the task by following the prescribed route. We have to find who we are and then express who we are. That is the whole point of us being here - self-expression. I truly believe that.

Our culture for a long, long time denied us our uniqueness. When we are little kids we are always told what is right and what is wrong, what we should and we shouldn’t do. We are trained out of our own Inner Authority, our own Inner Knowing.

I must say here that I am not saying that we should not guide our children and let them do whatever they want whenever they want. Of course we need to teach them kindness, respect, love, discernment, safety, etc. But it’s important to let them explore and learn who they are as people within the environment of kind, respectful, loving adults.

What would happen if we let ourselves and our children follow their own curiosity? What if we let them do their own thing?

What if when it comes time to pick a profession we stop strategizing what will make the most money and instead think what would bring the most fulfillment and joy? Unfortunately, this way you can’t see very far. This way is risky. This way you can see only one step of the way. This way we have to trust. And we are not used to that. We want to know for sure, so we keep choosing safety and prescribed solutions.

What if we teach our kids to trust their own Inner Knowing?

Just that one shift could save so much time and spare so much suffering.

What if someone who is called to play music is MEANT to play music and that is their contribution to the society? What if everyone followed their own passions and crafted their own carriers around their subjects of curiosity and passions? We might not have set career paths as we know them anymore.

To be honest, I think it is already happening. People don’t stay in one job for their entire life. It was predicted that a person will change six or seven careers in their life time. Why is that? Because people are not happy to stay at the same job their entire life. If anything, it would be probably very, very boring! And with AI, this process is accelerated even more. We are forced to look within because there is not many places left to look.

Perhaps the puzzle is clicking into place already? What would the world be like if we all find our places and offer our gifts to each other? What if we have the perfect amount of people passionate about all the things to make things work?

What if there are enough naturally gifted builders, cooks, musicians, artists, healers, pilots, teachers, etc? And what if everyone would be compensated for their gifts generously instead of many structures exploiting human beings?

No sacrifice would be required because everyone would be in their genuine place and actually enjoying what they are doing. But of course, in order for that to happen we need to learn to trust our own Inner Knowing and also, some people would have to give up control and the whole pyramid structure of the society would have to change. We will have to re-invent the whole thing.

I know it sounds like a utopia. But hang in with me just for a little bit longer. The logic tracks. Why else would we all be so different? Why don’t we come from a conveyor belt, like described in the book “The Brave New World”? Even they needed soma pills to function and be happy, because it is NOT NATURAL to function like a machine, because we are NOT machines. We are leaving, breathing BEINGS.

I think when we are living our own truth it benefits the whole human race, simply because you are being you and I am being me. When that happens, we, as a collective, suddenly start seeing the proverbial elephant in its entirety instead of fractured bits of information. Suddenly the elephant becomes an elephant instead of a trunk, tail, tasks, legs because we are not fighting and defending what we see but putting together ALL of our truths and we are finally able to see the whole picture.

So, living our own truths and finding our sovereignty is not selfish, it is imperative for the evolution of us, humanity as a Whole. We become one organism instead of a bunch of random lost Souls wondering around not knowing what is happening to them. We finally become interconnected.

Learning to discern whether the labels, or moral judgements placed onto us by others are true or not true is important. In fact, it is a part of the process.

And that is why I say sometimes that “what other people think of me is none of my business. What I think of me is important.” It is not to disregard what other people say, it is to look and see what MY truth is. And until I learn what that is I will be a subject of manipulation for other people whether they do it consciously or unconsciously. And only then, when I am solid grounded in my own truth I can look objectively at the truth of the other, and learn and expand my seeing.

The judgement is always a reflection of a person who judges, whether it is expression of love or criticism. When I walk my dog, some people make a point of saying how cute the dog is, some ignore us and some express a dislike of my dog. The dog is exactly the same dog. The judgement is the only thing that changes.

It is exactly the same when other people judge me. I am the same, and the judgements, good, bad or neutral depend on a person, their perspective, their own lived experience, their conditioning, their trauma, their belief system. It has NOTHING to do with me.

So, when someone says that I am good or bad, selfish or selfless, stubborn or persistent, it has absolutely nothing to do with me. They are describing what they see. It is their truth and it is allowed to exist. My job here is not to get hung up in their truth. My job is to figure out my own truth. Why am I doing what I am doing? Why am I saying what I am saying? Why am I reacting the way I am reacting? What is the payoff?

That is where things start to get interesting.

So, here is to us learning to discern what is ours and what is not. Here’s to our evolution as individuals and spices. I really, really hope that we will make it through this hurdle of our really crazy world. No. I trust we will.

Stay in your own truth.

Sending you love,

N.

P.S. I love to have a good discussion, so what do YOU think about all of this?