My last class of the day, in the corner of my eye I catch the words of a headline on the screen:

"Carney comments on mass shootings in BC."

My thoughts: "What? I must have read something wrong. It can't be!"

I finish the class, say goodbye and go to my car. My thoughts are racing. "We don't do guns here in Canada! It must be some gang wars or something."

I check the news. I didn't make a mistake, it happened.

My heart sinks, it is not some gang wars, KIDS were killed. I read more.

I imagine being a kid in that high school and I feel their fear.

I think of the parents who didn't know whether their kids were alive or not for hours, I feel their terror. I think about the kid who went and killed all those people.

I can't even imagine the pain that caused such violence that would make someone kill their own mother, their sibling, other kids and then self.

I let the grief, confusion, shock, anger and sadness move through my body. I have a lot of questions, most of which will probably never be answered.

I wonder what I can do right now to be helpful in some way. The answer pops in my head very clear - regulate your own nervous system.

So, I put my phone away.

I breathe, deep inhale, slow exhale. I do it again and again until I feel calm again. I am still sad, but I am not reactive anymore. In this calm state I still feel the feelings, even anger, but now I can think rationally and I can channel my anger in ways that are not hurtful. I can use the energy of my emotions consciously, instead of automatic reactive ways that produce more and more trauma. I can be a resource for myself and others. And this is what I CAN do right now. I can be the anchor in the midst of a storm.

I don't have all the answers, but I have the space where the answers and new solutions can form. This is exactly why I have started my project I called "Nervous System Reset".

Just yesterday my coach said how the Universe sends us life situations to practice what we preach. F*ck! I didn't ask for this!!!

I want to swear, but instead I do my practice and I hit the "record" button.

I really do believe that if we want to create a better, healthier and more peaceful world, we all need to learn to regulate our nervous systems. If we want peace in the world, we have to create peace inside and from there we will be able to create the peace that we all want.

So, here is my invitation to you, join me in my practice of cultivating a calm and regulated nervous system. This is NOT an escape strategy. This is creating resilience and resourcefulness to create new solutions. We already know what happens when we respond from automatic fight, flight, freeze, fawn response. We have done that for thousands of years, creating more pain, more trauma, more suffering.

I am ready to be done with that. I am ready for new ways, new solutions. And for new solutions we need new minds. That can come only from the regulated nervous system. Join me here.

https://nataliya-k.kit.com/ce2e7b3627

With love,

Nataliya